Cultivating Patience & Self-Confidence
We all struggle with cultivating patience and self-confidence. Saying that patience is a virtue is honestly an understatement. I don’t think it is a virtue, I believe it is a skill that any of us can learn and is in need of endless nurturing. It has taken me 21 years to get to a point in my life were I can say I have all I need and way more than I ever dreamed… Now, I don’t mean to say that I didn’t have it before, what I want to show is the amount of time that it took for my brain and my mind to understand that I am happy in the present time and with the people and job and friends I have now and not in a distant future. I spent my entire life thinking that everything I need is ahead of me in some distant galaxy and after achieving my goals, I realized that it is all an illusion.
I was blessed to buy my dream home three years ago, I have a wonderful loving family, I have friends that I admire and wouldn’t change for anything, and I am successful in my career and degrees. One would think that after having all of that, there is nothing else to achieve. And so, what do I do now? Sit down and create a new imaginary mission that somehow will bring even more joy into my life?
I have goals, many of them… but those goals are not the key to my happiness, I am happy now and believe me, I was happy before obtaining my Master’s and before buying the house…. So what was the problem then? Well, the problem is that we all grow up in a society that always wants you to buy more and spend more, and ask for more, and need more to be happy. It is all a lie!
After getting to this point, I am now planning ways to get rid of stuff. I have more clothes and pants than I would never need and never get to freaking wear them… Because of my spiritual practices and daily meditation, I’ve come to realize that none of these things define me or help me be less or more happy. The decision has always been mine and it is guided by the way I chose to think and the thoughts I chose to believe.
I hated my body growing up, I was always the chubby one in the family and was teased constantly. I didn’t like wearing dresses until I was in my 30’s (can you believe that!) and now I can’t take them off. The only reason I learned to be confident was thru cultivating patience and reading…yes READING…. Books like “You are a badass” by Jen Sincero, “Love Warrior” by Glennon Doyle, and “The 5 Second Rule” by Mel Robbins .
My patience improved 100% after attending an event at Eileen Fisher Lifework in Irvington, NY and met the wonderful author Byron Katie. It was a 45 minute conversation and in it she said “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late.” And let me tell you… This was the mother of AHA moments for me. You can learn to live simpler and easier knowing that everything is happening for your good and guiding you into a new path. Don’t waste your time fighting what already is….